I am thankful for...

This week, being Thanksgiving, causes me to sit back and take stock of so many things in my life. Things I am thankful for are just that...things. This year, more than ever, I find myself thankful for the friends, family and family of the heart. So much in my life lately has been in such turmoil. It is so difficult to express the frustration of the inability to transcend the problems of life and realize the futility of having your self-worth tied up into your net-worth. It has been during this time that I have been able to fully realize the impact that my friends and family, and most especially, the family of my heart, have made in my life. For so long, I kept so much of my real self hidden from the world. Somehow, in the dismal abyss I call a childhood, I had been convinced that I was not really worthy of love or success. Much of this really hit home today when my aunt, who is one of my best friends, came over during a visit from my sister who was here from out of town. My sister made the observation that she was "surprised that I had even mentioned that I HAD a problem." We do not, of course, really ever see ourselves in the same light that others view us, so it was rather eye-opening for me. I realized that I had been keeping myself locked away from so many of those who are important in my life for so long that I didn't realize the support and love that I had been missing by holding my heart so close. So, I am thankful for the opportunity I have had to step out of my own way. I realize that life is sometimes not what we thought it would be, but so many times the opportunity to fill ourselves up on love, which heals those empty spots in your heart, is lost because we forget to allow people close enough to let them show what we mean to them, and what they mean to us. Hopefully, I am able to fill those that I love with the same love they have shown me. Happy Thanksgiving...

Rebirth

Ashes still smolder
Fire underneath
Havoc and destruction
Life's most recent bequeath.

Sifting through memories
Nostalgia prevails
Holding tightly against me
A shadow of myself.

Picking up the pieces
My oh-so tattered dream
It's fabric rent in two
Not even close to the seam.

But dreams are the fabric
Values are the core
Love is the glue
New beginnings are in store.

Stronger from my plight
Battle weary, still resolute
The needle starts stitching
As the pieces are regrouped.

A new dream is created
With hope my able guide
Nimble fingers recreate
The love I hid inside.

Cloak is now complete
From ashes to rebirth
Resolute in my convictions
A phoenix who knows my worth.

-Mechelle FitzGeorge
November 11, 2008